I realize, of course, that there has been a lot of mention recently of snakes. Twice in one week, in fact–one at each place. And while I realize that our list of house guests is rapidly dwindling at the prospect of rat snakes in their room, I want to emphasize that this is not normal. In fact, the snake at the cabin–the itty, bitty snake we saw in the grass that lived outside our door–was the first snake we’ve seen up there. Until our most recent trip, we had seen more bears roaming around the trash bins than we had seen snakes slithering through the rocks. (That record is now tied, 1-1, though I know those bears are out there–my poor, destroyed trash cans speak to that loud and clear.)
But while you shouldn’t expect a snake encounter at the cabin necessarily, well, I’m sorry to say that we’ve had our share at the house. The worst was the copperhead that bit Lucy square on the nose. After ensuring it would not bite any of our other dogs, G brought up to me while I was cooking dinner just to confirm it was, in fact, copper.
Our screened porch has seen the most snakes. The first was coiled in a massive loop around a plant that was just inches from me–I also happened to be home alone at the time. I ran out screaming, as is usually the case when I see snakes, it seems, and we never found it again. That episode is also subtitled, “The Time We Discovered that the Garage and the Screened Porch are Connected.” Or, “The Snake is Now in our Garage.”
The most recent episode of snakedom in the screened porch came about a year ago while I was cooking dinner and G was entertaining the dogs on the deck. He spotted the copperhead slithering about near the door between the kitchen and porch, rushed in, and grabbed the knife with which I was doing dinner prep and took care of the snake. My very best knife. Really??
But the funniest episode — well, funniest to me, anyway — was our first snake episode at the house. It is also the loudest I have ever heard G scream. G was on the side patio raking up nature’s debris when he pushed the rake into the opening where we keep the hot tub hose and wires coiled up… and he pulled out a very, very, very angry snake.
That snake–a 7 foot, ginormous black rat snake–remains the largest snake I have EVER seen in real life that was not accompanied by a man in khakis on Snake Day at school. That giant snake danced with G–one hissing, one screaming. G eventually won, but they went many rounds. When G finally got the snake on a garden tool, he flung the snake into the woods in one triumphant victory hurl. And there, about a foot off our porch, it got caught in a tree. A 7 foot, angry-as-all-hell snake, dangling a couple feet from our hot tub.
It’s been five years since that incident, and I am pretty sure G still approaches that space beside our hot tub with a 20 foot pole. At the time, of course, it was TOTALLY NOT HILARIOUS. But in hindsight–in my hindsight anyway–it was pretty damn funny.
Have I officially taken care of all future visitors to our house at this point? No more snake stories today. Instead, I will post the second half of my pictures of Nellie playing with Lucy. Who doesn’t follow up stories about snakes with pictures of babies and puppies? Tag this one adorable.